Typical Style for the Geeky Girl

I mentioned previously that I was a "geeky girl."  I should probably elaborate on this, and why I want to change it so much.

First and foremost, there is something I want to make clear about my status as a geeky girl.  I am not unattractive, nor is it impossible for me to get dates--I've had a steady boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and I really love him a lot.  He understands that I am a geek, though.  I don't want to give up the fact that I'm a geek--rather, I want to reconcile it with my desire to be fashionable and, overall, socially acceptable and approachable.

One of the problems with being a geeky girl is that, well, I'm very shy and often awkward in social settings.  I attribute this mostly to the fact that I see many people around me, who are dressed to the nines (or, at least, are dressed in a way that makes me go "wow, they're cool").  This would make anyone feel kind of awkward, but for someone who stands out in absolutely no way, it's quite disheartening.  I've become accustomed to being ignored in social gatherings; instead of talking or being talked to, I'd rather play with my DS or text on my cell phone.  This, however, is not a way to make friends.

Another problem with being a geeky girl is that people don't always want to associate with you--for that reason.  You aren't the kind of person who gets invited to parties and social gatherings; in one instance, I remember working on a project with a group of girls--they began talking about a party they were going to that night, then looked at me awkwardly and said, "Sorry, I know you aren't into that kind of thing."  Actually, I am interested in "that kind of thing;" isn't everyone at this age?  But I digress.

Does this mean I want to give up the internet, Harry Potter and everything else I love?  No, no it does not.  I just want to be able to make a statement in a crowd of people.

There's a sort of confidence that comes from fashion.  My hypothesis is simple: if you look good, you feel good; if you feel good, you're more confident.  Confidence is sexy, confidence is awesome.  A lot of people find confidence in fashion--just look at Lady GaGa!  She's confident, sexy and rather fashionable (although out there, very out there).

I want that confidence.

Now.  As for the actual geeky girl style, there isn't much to it.  So far in life, I've worn mostly jeans and a t-shirt.  Every once in a blue moon, I'll wear a dress.  So far, I've striven not to dress like Rachel Berry, but I feel as though I probably do.  I wear a lot of black, I've noticed.  I also wear a good deal of blue, and occasionally pink.  I've had pretty much the same clothes since the 7th grade--I stopped growing then, and, in actuality, have gotten smaller since that time.  This leaves me looking like, well, a 7th grader.

On the days where I've "tried" to find style in the past, I've gotten good results--people have told me that I look different, or that I look pretty today.  That makes me feel better.  But fashion is a full-time job, not a part-time flight of fancy.  This brings me to another point of worry.

Money, money, money.  I'm a full-time student, and, currently, a part-time cashier, although I'm looking to take on a second job.  It's hard to be fashionable on a budget, but I've seen people make it work.  Certainly, with my intelligence, couldn't I "work it" as well?

Finally, the idea of "fun."  My friends and I are what would be called "Candylanders."  We're the type who play board games on Friday night.  This isn't really a big deal (I love Candyland), but even we know that this isn't really the social norm for the 18+ set.  Most of our graduating class is out partying on Friday nights, or going on adventures.  We'll sometimes venture outdoors, but mostly, we watch Glee on DVD, order in Chinese food, and play a rousing game of Harry Potter Clue.  This is certainly fun, but it leaves me wanting more.  There's a whole great big world out there that we haven't experienced just yet!    And of course I want to try everything that's out there, every kind of adventure people could possibly have.

So here we are.  And this is the beginning of my journey.

The first step, as of today?

To go through my closet when I get home, and decide what things can be used and what things should get tossed.  Huzzah!

Defying Gravity and the Geeky Girl Approach to Fashion

For the past two months, I've sat at work,  bored out of my mind.  I've read through most of my books twice already, and they won't allow me to do my statistics homework while on register.  The only option has been to read trashy celebrity gossip mags (like Us Weekly--how tragic a fate that should befall me!) and large, bulky fashion magazines, filled with clothes that, as a college student, I could never buy, and, as a geeky girl, I could never truly appreciate.

But something has changed within me.  Something is not the same.

It would seem that, as I've read more and more, I've begun to feel... as though my fashion could use an improvement.  Or, to say the least, I could learn some fashion period.  There's something different about fashion--something innately marvelous, empowering, and, well, girly.

It is also something I have thus far failed to possess.  I, with my large collection of Pokemon games, vast knowledge of Shakespearean quotations and internet lingo, and love of all things Japanese, have utterly failed in terms of "being a girl."  Despite my hardest efforts, I have not made a splash in any social scene,  and, while accepted by my current (and incredibly interesting albeit occasionally dorky) friends, I have been largely unable to make new ones in my college setting.

But that's no matter.  I have decided to attack this "fashion" business with my usual approach--diligent research and experimentation!  If I fail to become "girly," then, well, maybe I wasn't meant to be.  But if I succeed--well, wouldn't that just be fabulous?  Either way, it looks like it'll be great fun, incredible fun.

I can only hope I survive it.